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The Tale of the Lackey-A-Doos

Come hear a tale of a mystical plain,
Peopled by Lackey-a-doos.
Come walk with me and hear refrains
In the tongue of the Lackey-a-doos.
Oh come, my friends, do not refuse;
Do not my whimsy disdain,
But open your hearts and feel the rain
Of the tears of the Lackey-a-doos,

Oh! What if we shan't? Or maybe we should?
But wait! sing the Lackey-a-doos.
We think we can, or maybe we could --
Oh, please! This crisis defuse!
Cry the cringing Lackey-a-doos.
We think we will, if only we would,
If ever we knew where we stood,
But how shall we ever choose?

This mystical plain is long and wide,
And the shrubs are fear's disease.
The river is tears, and grief the tide,
And agony hangs from trees.
The wind is sighs of ill-at-ease;
There's nowhere for worry to hide
When courage and faith have been denied
In this region of quivering knees.

If ever we don't, or never we do,
Croak the shivering Lackey-a-doos,
Then forever we don't shall do.
If ever we do, and never refuse,
Or never we don't should choose,
Our fear would faith imbue
Oh! What if we dont'? Or what if we do?
Oh! Oh! Cry the Lackey-a-doos.

On plains of fear don't ask your mama;
In an age of fright don't bend;
Don't punctuate with question mark or comma;
Don't waver, but forward e'er contend!
Let faith be strong, and nevermore depend,
Tho' caught up in some tragedy or drama;
Don't weaken in the iron grasp of trauma,
But walk in faith unto victorious end.

Oh no! Oh no! We are verily confused,
And walk the paths and passageways of rues!
Our fearful hearts are evermore bemused;
We are the bashful, mourning Lackey-a-doos!
Our quaking minds are always so obtuse
And faith so weak so badly's been abused
That fearlessness lies dormant and unused
On this, the plain of plaintive Lackey-a-doos!

But look! What light so narrowly comes a'gleaming?
From where, with such variety of hues?
Is it true? Or am I only dreaming?
Can faith be found on the plain of the Lackey-a-doos?
Is it real? Or is it only ruse?
Is it so? Or is it only seeming?
But yes! It's there! And it is fairly beaming
Into the lucky souls of Lackey-a-doos!

Take heart, weak souls! For now we can, we know!
Never fear again, or pay those awful dues,
For peace on us hath heaven's Light bestowed!
While once we were but wondering Lackey-a-doos,
Transformed we've been to stronger Dooey-a-doos!
To highest treasuries our heavier debt is owed,
For in our hearts the Eye of heaven glowed,
And where such Light is found, none argues.

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